by k s. on I'm sitting on my couch watching The Office and I just burped up some Pad Thai, which reminded me that I just ate some at PF Changs. Oh wait, I mean Tao. The ONLY reason I went was because my wonderful friend Frank had a gift certificate AND because I had my phone stolen last night. I eat my feelings, people, and nothing says "Feel better!" like dinner out. I like to avoid places that people describe as "Just like sex and the city!" In fact, I avoid people that describe places like that, too. Reality is a neat place. Anyway - we walk in and were greeted by 4 hostesses, each one given a specific task. Like, the one that says "hello" can't actually check for your reservation. And the one that checks the reservation can't actually tell you where to sit, that's Deanna's job. On our way to our table we brushed by power happy hourers in stillettos, tight "bone me on the desk" dresses, and powder blue merger ties. Everyone looked around to see if everyone else could tell how important they were. The tables were about the same. But you know what, it doesn't matter who is around you, it's the company you keep, and I had the best company. Our seat was great, I could see the big buddha perfectly. What I couldn't see was the menu. Now, I know at 33 I'm getting pretty old, but if the lighting is so ... well.. dark that I can't even see the printed word, that's just not good. I had to have Frank read the Prix fixe, which was a lucrative deal. But we wanted tempura avocados so we skipped it. Tempura avocados and asparagus were GREAT. Light crispy coating, none of that turtle shell thickness that, when chewed, creates a coating on your tongue that you have to slough off with a spoon. I also had the kobe beef sashimi because my victimized soul wanted some raw red meat. The serving was a "small plate" that cost 28 bucks. I wouldn't say it was totally worth it, but it was deeeelish. Edamame was good. The Pad Thai was excellent. They were right on point with it, and I've had some crap pad thai lately. It's freaking good. Our waitress was fantastic if not a little cheesy, but in our jeans and warm weather gear (and lack of power ties and rubber ta tas) we probably appeared to her like Minnesota tourists looking for the Sex and The City experience. I docked some stars because of the self important turd crowd and for my #1 pet peeve (which adds to the self important delusions) - FORCED BATHROOM ATTENDANT. COME ON. I know how to turn on a faucet, I know where the soap is. I know how to grab a paper towel myself and I know where to put it. I also know that you turned the faucet on as I emerged from the single stall to make it awkward for me to go to the other sink. You also smuggled all the paper towels to a location under your arm so that I would have to reach past your outstretched hand to get one myself. Truly truly ridiculous. As we walked out, I had to move aside for two suited galoots, not the other way around, and one woman in head to toe sequins and a full length fur. And Frank said, and I'd like to conclude with this, "look at all these people thinking they're so important. It's a glorified PF Changs!"
by Carolyn B. on Let me explain... I give the Clermont 4 stars because I was not disappointed. The Clermont lived up to it's reputation and everything I thought I was going to get, I received that and then some. My first strip club experience and man was it an experience. The outside looks shabby and run down and the inside does not disappoint. The interior is just as dusty and dingy as it's exterior. If I was grading on what I saw once I entered the hot, musty doors of the Clermont, I would have to roll over into the negatives. Although the lap dance I witness was good entertainment, it was also gross on so many levels, =( I saw WAY too much of some the women there, and honestly stripping passed a certain age should be illegal. I give the Clermont 4 stars because I had a great time (once I dug out my eyes, and remembered that I have a mind eraser at home), if you haven't experienced it yet, you definitely should...but honestly I'll never go again.
by Felix Grandel on Apparently, the real harlots were out in force tonight. We're talking half naked, fake boobs, taking underwear off, simulated (and then possibly real) sex, ass in the air harlots. There was a good mix of eastern European thrown in there as well. This place would have been great if I could have magically disappeared: a) the real harlots b) the Marina crowd (really, how many striped shirts can fit into one room? and no, honey, that corset doesn't look good on you) c) the crap DJ Otherwise it's a beautifully decorated space. I'd love to see it on another night. Oh, and 5 stars for my dancing companions and for the totally non-douchey guy who hung out with us and eventually got my number - he was an exception to the rule though.
