by Hayley Sara B. on *the best* What an amazing gem of a dive bar tucked away on Sansom street. Any place that plays "Come On Ride the Train" and serves $4.50 vodka tonics is alright with me. I can't think of a better spot for Friday evening happy hour. NO pretension, kind-hearted waitresses, and some regular characters scattered throughout. Bonus: either you can't smoke in there anymore, or the ventilation is amazing.
by David L. on I LOVE THIS PLACE. Yesterday my friend and I came for lunch. He had the burger with cheddar, cooked medium rare, with a side of garlic old bay fries, and two beers. I had the same thing, but with blue cheese... I love that there's a condiments bar -- they have sambal, two kinds of sriracha (I don't recommend the Roland brand one, the "normal" one is much better), katsup, mayonnaise, green tabasco, red tabasco, mustard, salt and pepper... The food was pretty good, there was a lot of char on the meat, the bun was tasty and well-toasted, there was a generous amount of cheese, and the fries were delicious -- my friend really enjoyed dipping them in sriracha and mayo, but I was most happy just dipping them in mustard, and I love that there were actually cloves of garlic which were entirely edible... The beers were good, too... Things were priced moderately, and the service was very friendly both at the bar and at the kitchen-area. We were pretty much the only people here -- there were a couple people in the band performance area on the main "lightship" area, but we literally had the side-adjoining boat all to ourselves, so after our meal my friend kicked back and closed his eyes for awhile, meanwhile I explored... The boat is amazing, I am absolutely fascinated with it, it's really fun to explore -- though some people might be scared of all the dark corners -- I enjoyed hanging out in the engine rooms, and then I discovered that there was a piano -- HEAVEN ON EARTH -- it wasn't terribly out of tune, it was entirely functional, so I decided to give it a go... My Chopin Op 10 no 2 was, I admit, sorry to say, perhaps a little bit weak -- but I'd like to see _you_ do better when hungover, drunk, exhausted, on a rocking boat, in a pitch-black room. The belly of the boat is pretty much my favorite place in the whole world right now -- although I suppose when I have to eat and drink I'll be happy sitting on the higher of the two raised decks on the ship... Although most people seem to prefer the other area, where there're waterfalls and a performance stage and it's further out on the water (a couple of times people on jet-skis drove by and splashed people eating, I thought it was hilarious) -- which is fine by me, I don't really like crowds, and I really enjoy having my preferred areas all to myself... I've been three times in the past week (for two birthday parties, and lunch yesterday) and I'll probably be back at least a dozen times in the next couple months before it gets cold
by Monroe Vanzyl on Alright, this place is NOTHING like the Pink Pony.. BUT definitely a "Must-See." There sure are plenty of great reviews on the Clermont already.. but I need to add a little something. The first time I went to the Clermont, I was with 2 friends. One who had not been there, like I, and the other who had been there. Since we were Clermont-virgins, our friend who had been there bought us a lap dance from Porsche (I don't think she gets the credit she deserves, being outshined by Blondie all the time). Porsche started out with some conversation.. she told us about her grandkids and mentioned "I'm the oldest gal here! I just turned 60 last month." So, Porsche gave us a lap dance.. and there are just not enough words in the English language to appropriately describe those few moments. Porsche was wearing a "Little Red Riding Hood" outfit which conveniently had elastic around the neck - for easy flashing - which Porsche took advantage of. Then she lifted up her skirt and said "Look at my peach cobbler, all you need is a spoon and some ice cream!" (I am 100% serious.. not exaggerating.) Anyway.. Porsche is forever ingrained in my mind and I have a great story for the rest of my life. Definitely a good time.. and I've been back several times since then! No more lap dances for me, though ;) In addition, I've seen Blondie, who of course crushes beer cans with her boobies.. and I've seen another young lady who will light your cigarette with her nipple.. seriously. In addition to the group of lovely ladies at the Clermont, there is karaoke occasionally.. and of course a full bar. The Clermont Lounge is located at the bottom of the Clermont Hotel, in the back. You have to take a big set of stairs to get down there.. I'm not sure if there's any other way. During the week, there is not always a cover, but on the weekends, there is a good chance you will have to pay $5 or $10 to get in. I try to take all my out-of-towners to Clermont because it's sure to provide some great memories..
