by Exie Reutzel on So my Boss was celebrating his bday here, and he reserved a few tables for bottle service. He's been coming here quite often in the last few months. I was already dreading to come here, because the last 2 times I 'tried' to come here years ago when the club was called BOSS, were epic fails. I was stuck standing in line freezing my ass off for hours and missing out on my friends birthday party inside even though our names were on the so called guest list and they had NOT reached capacity and we are not BAD looking girls we still couldn't manage to get in. Both times were bad experiences. But this time I was pretty confident that I was actually going to make it in and have a good time. And it was a success! (the entrance was a success) I had to wait a little bit, but surely the rope opened after only 7 minutes of waiting in the cold misty SF street w/ flattened curls and goosebumps. I assume the man calling the shots in the front is the GM or Main Promoter because he was definitely too scrawny to be a bouncer. I had 3 boxes of cupcakes, and he asked to look inside the boxes, I said ok. He took a peek and said, 'cool'. He then told me NOT to get any frosting on his couches or "I'm out". (I giggled, I'm a jokester) But for some reason it didn't sit well with me. I think he really really really meant it. I walk in to see cheap quality but surely over priced champagne sitting on our tables, served with strawberries and cheese. I was sort of impressed until I reached over to get a glass of champagne and find out it's a plastic tumbler! LOL.............ok ok ok if I was a club owner I'm sure I'd want to get the most cost efficient and safe material to serve beverages in. But c'mon for real? Plastic, in a so called 'nice club'? Am I turning into a champagne snob? I dunno, but I don't want to have champagne or vodka in a plastic tumbler.........really, I think it changes the taste. My drinks were not enjoyable, but I made the most of it. My drinks were free courtesy of my boss' wallet. So it's not like those plastic tumblers 'ruined' my night. But check this out.......... Time to go pee: there are 3 stalls. The handicapp is clogged, the middle has a girl taking a dump mind you we're IN A CLUB, for 15min, and the first one looked like someone's ass exploded, 12 girls crammed in the bathroom waiting for their turn in that 1 and only functioning stall, other girls fixing boobs, applying gloss and lipstick, teasing hair, and stuffing the gut back into their dresses. The bathroom was packed! And the floor was really wet! I was not happy about getting my new Satin Christian Louboutin shoes wet either!! I'm not the type of girl that has to pee every 5min so I was like fuck it, I can just wait till I get home or come back later, plus the stench from that girl taking a dump was nauseating. ***45 min later and 3 drinks fuller, my bladder told me it needed help quick. It was about 3am and I was going to be leaving soon, on a 50minute car ride so I decided to go empty the bladder. Un-fucking-believeably-raunch!!!!! I have never EVER EVER EVER seen such a DISGUSTING bathroom ever!! I laugh at my friends that are too snobby to pee in a less than clean bathroom. I just tell them to tough it out, pop a squat and not to touch anything. But NO, this was not even a place that I could set foot in even for my low bathroom standards. But I did.......accidently. I was in a hurry, and there was no line. I remembered that the floor was pretty wet so I tried my best to step on 'only the mats'. Not realizing that the whole bathroom was inundated with sewage I was about halfway through the bathroom when I slipped a little, and a HUGE splash of warm sewage water went up my leg and splashed my 'borrowed' Badgley Mischka dress. It was the most disgusting feeling EVER! I was wearing SKY HIGH platform shoes and water was up to the buckles on my ankles. I felt like someone had some hidden camera on me somewhere. I was really hoping it was a joke, sadly it wasn't. My new shoes RUINED by sewage water! and my sister's dress......let's just say, I'm too embarrassed to give it back and I came come to bathe in bleach! This was by far my worst experience in a club. Had it not been my boss' bday I would have never set foot in this place even though it wasn't called BOSS anymore and it was under new management I just wouldn't. The poor bathroom attendant has the worst job ever! They need a plumber on site not a bathroom attendant to hand out paper towels. Poor lady was doing the best she could, and trying not to pewk while at it. The only good thing about the club that night was the DJ. Good music makes me happy. And the whole plastic tumbler thing I laughed off, and danced the night away with the good beats.........until the bathroom incident. Beware! if you're coming to this place I which I advise you not to, but if you do: BYOD= Bring your own DIAPERS!
