60 Temple Street Suite 8A
New Haven, CT 06510
New Haven County
Phone: (203) 401-4300
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by Sean-Paul G. on A club near the heart of the Castro District...a stop to take the out of towners when you're bar hopping. The club has an LA-ish feel to it...but too small for an LA club. The guys at the door are pretty nice...but once you step in the doors...super crowded...and a bad smell starts to hit your nose. The first time I went it didn't smell bad...but subsequent times...a vomit-like smell hit my nose when I walked into the club more. Navigating through the crowd to get to the dancefloor can be taxing but you eventually get there. The music is hit or miss. After 30 minutes I found myself wanting to leave and head across the street to the Cafe. To sum it up... Pros: - the wait in line isn't too bad - the smoking area is good for people watching - the bathrooms look nice - some of the dancers are entertaining Cons: - the place smells like vomit at times - drinks are a tad bit pricey - they pack people in the place like pickles in a jar - music is hit or miss - cover is $2+ of other spots in the Castro
by Boyce Finn on Everything you've heard about The Clermont (a go-go dancers' graveyard, the bar where strippers go to die) is true and yet still inadequate. It all became (embarrassingly) secondhand to me years ago, but I still remember my first visit. For you L.A. rateclubsers, it was an experience replicated the first and only visit I had to Jumbo's Clown Room. It's in the basement of the Clermont Motel and there is wood paneling on the wall disturbingly like your parents' basement. The drinks are cheap, the women are cheaper. Indeed, if arousal means the occasional C-section scar, you're in the right place. Possibly apocryphal, Dave Attell, comedian and former host of The Comedy Central show "Insomniac" was once asked during an interview "Where the best place in America to be drunk?" His answer? "The Clermont Lounge." When asked, "Where's the worst place to be sober?" he answered, "The Clermont Lounge." This bar routinely shows up in men's and lad mags' "Best Bars in America" lists. Blondie is there most nights (though as she gets older, she's been taking more time off) and for a $5 fee, she will do the beer can thing. For more money, she will give you a lap dance where she pummels you with her breasts. It is not a pleasant experience. Alas, I know now I've piqued some person's curiosity out there, in much the same way a person will voluntarily smell sour milk after you've just exclaimed, "SWEET JESUS, I think the milk went bad!!" For those of you, make sure to compliment Blondie on her poetry (yes, she's a recognized poet) or better yet, buy her a Jaeger shot. Maybe she'll take it easy on you and you won't walk away looking like you've spent the night with Ike Turner. The jukebox is not there for you to use. It's for the dancers. That's why many of them carry spare change in a fanny pack they wear even while on stage in an attempt to mingle the practical with the erotic, much like imagining Martha Stewart in a thong. There is one toilet and a trough in the men's room. If you must #2, may God have mercy on your eternal soul. Not only is there no stall door (or stall for that matter) I don't seem to remember much in the way of a toilet seat either. If you go in the summer, the temperature will be somewhere between "unbearably hot" and "ditchdigger's ass." Dress accordingly. Final instructions: step in and enjoy, but keep moving. If you block the doorway, the doorman will yell at you. Cameras are verboten (and really, some memories aren't meant to be re-lived.) Yes, the dancers have AARP memberships. Don't be a douche bag though. The dancers have feelings too. With Romeo Cologne and his traveling disco/funk show, Saturdays are the preferred night to go for most. I think of it as amateur hour, when all the OTPers invade to gawk and be able to tell their co-workers they've been. But it's one thing to go on a Saturday night; it's a whole other thing to go on a Wednesday afternoon. That said, even I'VE had fun dancing there on a Saturday. Now that you're prepared, the wonders of the Clermont beckon. Go forth and enjoy....ish. However, take the time to cherish the Clermont as the last of a dying breed. Unapologetically, almost celebratory in its diveyness, places like this are fewer and farther between. So fight on, Clermont Lounge! Rage against the dying of that gentrifying light! Stay around to frighten a whole new generation of young boys into manhood. For as long as you do, you'll always have a place in my heart.
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