by David Y. on I have to say, Harlot is a special place. It's the kind of place that leaves a lasting impression on you. It's the kind of place that speaks volume on its beliefs and shows no restraint. It's the kind of place that would bring a Ratecluber out of retirement. Cause first, you gotta love where their location is at. Across the street from a shady parking lot where it would be so awesome if you got mugged there. And 20 yards away is a sight to behold, where lies about 20 homeless people trying to get some rest while Harlot thumps their music all night. But that's not the best part. The quintessential aspect of Harlot is the service. Get ready you line waiting lovers. You will wait long here and you will be ignored out of existence. If you suffer from too much attention, then you should go wait outside in this line without a reservation. But I correct myself. Whether or not you have a reservation is a moot point. I came with a group of 20 and after some shuffling around to make the regulations to enter this mystical place (more on that later), we were finally able to get our table reservation that we put money down on (about $300 I think). We waited and waited, then were told to move over to the side of the building where the bouncer could no longer have eye contact with us, then waited and waited some more... oh man, it was great. I just kept staring at that neon H sign for over an hour until that image got burned into my retinas. Then as the party planner went up to ask the guy about how come we haven't been seated to our table yet and the guy tells us that they gave it away and told us and the rest of the remaining guests to go back in line or leave. Don't you love just getting dicked around because that was one of the greatest I've experienced. At that moment, I was hoping to see Ashton or Snooki or The Situation walk right into the place, but alas they did not. And back to the regulations here, you can't forget about their 1:1 ratio policy. Harlot doesn't f*ck around. You can have 100 guys, 99.5 girls and that will not let you in. Because Harlot is the sh*t (and I mean sh*t). I don't swear in my reviews very often, but Harlot is that special case where I'm at a loss of words; absolutely speechless. They put Las Vegas clubs to shame. In fact, LV should be stricter cause there is no way SF clubs can out-douchebag LV clubs. That's almost insulting especially since naturally there are more guys than girls in SF than there are in LV. Time to step up your game, Vegas, if you want to play with the real big dogs of Harlot. After all that, and almost 2 hours worth of being outside, I never did step foot in there. Well, I have for happy hour before, but Harlot doesn't have the balls during that time period to be douchebags to not allow people in. Which is underwhelming. Why couldn't they just have a bouncer outside 24/7 whether or not it's closed. Or better yet, have bouncers on the corner of the streets to stop people from looking at the place. I'm disappointed that its not even harder to get inside, they could have attack dogs that chase you for wearing certain types of colognes or have trap doors open when a camera detects your shoes of not being worthy or a big Indiana Jones boulder that chases your group when you don't meet the ratio. If you want to be even more efficient, why even have a door? Just replace it with a brick wall instead. Plenty of missed opportunities here. Whenever I want to feel used, punked, trampled, defecated on, Harlot will always be on the top of my list and it will be on top of yours, too. Sorry Suite 181, you got competition.
by Lory Armbruster on Very solid, low maintenance, chill spot. Recommended for large groups because it's uncrowded and there's no fuss over lines and BS bouncers. On a Saturday night: $5 valet parking outside the place, $10 for cover. That's already $5 cheaper than a usual door cover. Like everybody else said, it's a D&B's with a dance floor. Crowd was mixed and judging by the "outer ring of gawkers" found at many dance clubs, not many creepers. DJ was decent and didn't kill the dance floor. Bartenders were attentive and drinks were inexpensive in the $6-10 price range. Good place to go to if you just want to have fun with your homies!
