300 Melbrn Avenue
Melbourne, KY 41059
Campbell County
Phone: (859) 781-6433
Fax: unknownWebsite: no website on fileEmail: no email on fileHours: unknown
Vernon & Ruby's Tavern - About Us
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Website Description and Information
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by Rex F. on It was a dark and stormy night... Well, not really, but it was pretty cold that one evening last winter. I showed up here at 1am with 15 people. Why did I show up here at 1am with 15 people? Well, that's what you do when you go to clubs, right? Am I out of line here? I think 10 out of the 16 of us were girls. I could see the bouncer sizing us up. I opened another button on my awesomely striped dress shirt. Didn't seem to help. In fact seemed to work against us, which I found offensive - I waxed my chest specifically for that night and I'm pretty sure the Korean lady at the nail salon fleeced me extra for "unusual procedure charges." Anyway I could see Bouncerman doing the bottle math. I wanted to race even if he didn't, so I spun around and quickly calculated 16 people split by 4, the standard per-bottle whore-yourself-out-to-the-club exchange rate, and reached 4 bottles. But then he said 8. I was crestfallen. As our freezing young ladyfriends debated the merits of paying a few thousand dollars to spend two hours playing Miami Vice in a giant nightclub in MePa... I mean... Murray Hill (MuHill?), I wandered over to the well-dressed European gentleman with the fancy haircut who materialized from within for a smoke. "Hey, it must be crowded in there huh?" He shrugs. I catch a faint whiff of... wait, I know this... Acqua di Gio. I KNEW I should have worn Acqua di Gio that night! "Not really, not too many." Super charming accent. Half a star for the outside wall of the club and the front door, which looked very architecture-y. Half a star for the bouncer, who was clearly some kind of high-tech cyborg in disguise, being capable of dividing 16 by 4 and reaching a higher number than mere human beings can.
